Wednesday, October 14, 2009

M-Day Plus 66

Hey ya'll, I've decided to start a blog. I probably should have done this 66 days ago, since that was the official start of medical school, or as I like to refer to it, "the battle for my sanity", but as you know life happens.

To put everyone up to date, this is the 66th day of medical school, hence the phrase "M-Day Plus 66". I am enrolled at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences studying to be a doctor of some sort. It's a pretty nice school in a town that is slowly winning my favor. As some of my closest friends know, I was rather alarmed when I learned that Little Rock, AR did not have a Buffalo Wild Wings. This was a minor defeat for my sanity. To balance this defeat; however, I had managed to discover some very nice bicycle trails around the city. So I guess you could say I'm in somewhat of a neutral, entrenched stance at this point.

Last week we were off for the entire week for our fall break. This was very nice as it helped to cap off our first two classes, biochemistry and cell biology. They went well and I enjoyed them, but now it's on to the real business.

Two days ago we started gross anatomy with classes, and teachers, and students, and dead people. Some people prefer to call these dead people cadavers. Whatever floats your boat. We met this person two days ago and found a lively, well-nourished, elderly female. Well, maybe she wasn't so lively, or well-nourished...then again maybe she was. Anyways, it was exciting, we got to meet Ethel. Our group has yet to decide on a name, but I like Ethel so that's what she shall be for now. Ethel has lots to teach us and I was just ecstatic to meet her. As you might expect, we did all the normal things you might expect to do on a first date with a lovely lady, we skinned her back. I realize this sounds like a pretty selfish endeavor so far, after all, she does give us a lovely pile of skin from her back. However, it was not an entirely one-sided affair, because after she donated her skin, we trimmed all of her unwanted fat from her backside. And believe me, there was a lot of it. This part was pretty gross actually. The lab was very fun for about the first hour, but eventually I decided it would have been better had Ethel just exercised a little more. We might have to have a consultation about this later. Anyways, that was day 1. Off to a good start.

On day 2 Ethel was apparently not so happy with us. She seemed to let off this odor to indicate that she did not approve of our first date. Nevertheless being the persistent little boogers that we are, we decided to get to know her a little better. This time we decided to get a little more intimate with her and give her a deep muscle massage..or..removal. She allowed us to observe her trapezius muscle and her latissimus dorsi along with a dozen others deep in her back. And then we cut them out. Yup. We don't waste no time with our women here in Arkansas. So, that was about the jist of yesterday.

Today, ok now we're finally caught up on this blog. Today was the most exciting. We got to see what makes Ethel dance...somewhat literally. We had to look at the spinal cord and some of the surrounding nerves. In order to do that, however, you must get through the spine. How do you do that you might ask? Well, you take this big mallet, and this big chisel, and you go....WHACK! And then you repeat. I have to say it's a little unnerving at first, but after a that became fun. I struggled at first, I was just trying to lightly tap it until one of our instructors showed us better. After that point...well, my lab group swears I have anger management issues because I was just whacking the crap out of that spine as they said. Although they chose to use more explicit terms. I haven't turned on the explicit content warning on this blog so I will spare you the details of some of those comments. Anyways once we broke through the vertebral column we got to see the spinal cord. Man that was cool! And Ethel, who once was a pain in the rear because of all her fat, turned in to a beauty! There were people from all over the lab coming to check her out. They need be reminded, however, that she's ours. They can't take our Ethel! We're just startin' to get to know each other!

Well, that's about it up until now. Miscellaneous items...there is a sweet coffee shop nearby I shall visit again soon. Um, our power went out yesterday from sometime in the afternoon til about 10 at night due to some idiot deciding the building's transformer box should be low enough to the ground to collect water and flood. Um...that's about it. We'll let ya know what happens tomorrow!

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